I never have a rock when I need one
Whenever we’re out at a restaurant with Raimi, there’s always a point where he gets a little fussy. He starts crying, and we go through the usual litany (diaper? hungry? need a toy? want a pacifier? want to walk around? need someone to make funny faces at you and blow razzberries on your neck?) to try to calm him down.
It’s not always easy. Sometimes he’s just crabby and would prefer to cry and be sad. Maybe it’s a little annoying for us and the people around us, but it’s certainly not the end of the world. Babies cry, and the world keeps spinning.
The problem is this: every time we’re out in public with Raimi and he starts crying, there is always some fucking asshole at the next table who thinks it’s funny to turn around and say “Child abuse! What are you doing to that child!”
I want those people dead.
If a baby is crying in public, obviously the parents are trying to figure out what’s wrong, and more than likely they’re pretty stressed about calming the baby down as soon as possible so as not to disturb the other people nearby. And these complete dickfaces think that’s the perfect time to make a joke about child abuse. Nothing under the sun makes me angrier.
When you come upon someone who is holding a baby, and the baby is crying and screaming and kicking its feet and choking and coughing because it’s so upset, and the parents are doing everything they can possibly think of to try to calm the baby down, THAT IS NOT THE TIME to insinuate that the parents did something to the baby to make it cry.
It is so unfunny, and it is so unbelievably common. Honestly, if it just happened once or twice I’d let it go, but it has happened almost every single time. Yes, our baby is crying, and you probably find it slightly annoying. But I find it annoying that you’re allowed to be out in public when you should be muzzled and chained to a dark basement wall, so I guess we’re even! It was nice to meet you. Please stop breathing. My baby needs that oxygen.