The Brunch
Okay. So yesterday rosalie and i hosted a brunch at our new house. we were very very nervous, because we really haven’t done any kind of entertaining since way before raimi was born. and we ended up accidentally sleeping late sunday morning, so things were a little hectic. we had eggs to scramble, potatoes to fry, fruit salad to make, bagels to toast, mimosas to pour, etc etc. so i’m frantically trying to put all this together. raimi, meanwhile, is being very fussy. he’s overdue for a nap, but refuses to take one. we try to put him in his exersaucer, but he doesn’t want to be there either. so rosalie just sits him down on the floor with some books and toys, and he’s totally happy there, entertaining himself. this is at 9:50, and our guests are due to arrive at 10.
at 10:05, the doorbell rings and it’s our first two guests, amy and donovan. i bring them in, and i still haven’t started the eggs, so i call rosalie in to start the eggs. i figure i’ll grab raimi and we’ll walk around and give a & d the nickel tour.
i go to pick raimi up. he is literally covered in poop from head to toe.
it’s oozing out of his diaper and down the leg of his shorts. it’s all around him, all over our new carpet. it’s on his books and his toys. there’s poop on his legs and feet and hands and face. he had spinach last night, so it’s kind of greenish-black.
i start screaming. rosalie comes running and starts screaming.
2 more guests arrive. panic ensues.
i’m like “uhh, everyone give yourself a tour.” rosalie grabs raimi while i start a bath for him, then i run back downstairs and start cleaning the carpet. amy and donovan offer to help, so i point them to a bowl of eggs and say “scramble those.”
they did a very good job. i had about 9 mimosas. it took about 2 hours for my pulse to return to normal.