Choices
We currently own eleven books about parenting, each of which I pick up to read when I have a question or am trying to make a decision. Kevin reads them less often, but when we�re really struggling with an issue, we�ll both read the same chapters, and try to weigh this expert advice against our own instincts about what Raimi wants and what we need.
The problem is, each of these ten books has a different, yet equally strong, opinion on the really big issues. They all agree about the basics � back to sleep, breast is best, how to give a bath, what foods should absolutely not be fed to babies before age 1.
But the other stuff � where he sleeps, what to do when he cries at 2 a.m., how early I went back to work, how long he�s in childcare each day, how long I will breastfeed him, how we dress him, what toys he plays with, what and how many books we read to him, how much time we spend on the floor playing with him vs. running errands around town� that�s all political.
The guilt can be overwhelming. I mean, it�s clear that there is no one right answer for all babies, and yet how can we make the very best choice for *our* baby?
So, it�s powerful when I just know � deeply � that we have done what�s right for Raimi. I feel this way about choosing to breastfeed. And during the six weeks of Kevin�s paternity leave and eight weeks of my maternity leave � I know that it was right that we held Raimi almost constantly. I know that was what he needed, and part of what helped him to feel secure and loved, even before he had a concept of �home.�
And today, we brought Raimi back to his regular childcare provider, Joy. She has been sick for almost two weeks, and Raimi had to go to a different (more educational, less nurturing) babysitter for part of last week.
When we brought him inside at Joy�s house, it took Raimi a minute to recognize where he was. Then he saw Joy, and immediately reached for her. I handed him to her, and he put his arms around her neck and snuggled up to her the way that he does to me when I pick him up at the end of the day.
Finally that feeling � we made the right choice.