Let’s talk
I love talking with Raimi. He catches me up at the end of the day. Yesterday when we picked him up at Joy’s house, he walked slowly to me and gave me a big hug and said, “Mommy, I missed you.” “I missed you too, sweetie.”
I was holding him for a minute talking to Joy and he leaned his head all the way back to look up into my face and said, “Mommy. Mommy. Today I had a popsicle.” “What kind of popsicle?” He thought for a moment, then smiled and said, “Lemon!”
On the way home in the car I asked, “What did you do today?” and he said, “Played in the sand with Vonny.” “Did you build castles or dig holes?” I asked. Very decisively, he said, “I dug holes with my shovel.”
It sounds like a simple conversation, but it’s so hard missing him all day, and for most of the last two years I’ve had very little information about how his days have gone. Joy would give me the highlights, but hearing it from Raimi — it just fills me with pride and relief. What does Raimi do all day? Plays toys, digs in the sand, eats lunch. Wonderful, wonderful news.
Kevin and I want to raise a sweet, sensitive, caring boy who will grow into a good man, but we talk sometimes about not wanting him to have all the guilt and neurosis that we struggle with, worrying about other people at the expense of our own self-care. On the other hand, better to care and be a worrier than be insensitive….
Maybe regardless of our hopes and fears and wishes, Raimi’s a very caring little guy. If I say I’m tired or lie down on the couch — which I do pretty often these days — Raimi will ask, “Mommy? Are you not feeling well?” I’ll try to reassure him and say not to worry I’m just a little tired, and he’ll ask, “Because you have a baby in your tummy?”
A few weeks ago, Uncle Jason and Tricia were visiting, and it was bedtime for Raimi. He said, “I don’t want to go to bed. Let’s talk.” “What do you want to talk about?” I asked. “Let’s talk about our feelings.”
Then he smiled. He knows when he’s cute.